Hi, Hales
by irisadler
Summary: Nathan is in a coma after suffering a heart attack. Haley must once again confront the possibility of Nathan's death and life without him at her side. As time goes on and things seem more hopeless, Haley's friends and family gather around her to try and help her keep on going. Angst, Hurt, Comfort.
1. Day One

Day One

Haley slowly pushed open the door, dreading the sight she knew was behind it. She stepped across the pale threshold and her heart skipped a beat. Nathan was laying in the bed, his skin almost translucent. He looked ghostly. His eyes were sunken and surrounded by dark purple circles. Even though his strong biceps were stark against the blue blanket covering him, he looked frail. He was asleep, but he didn't look peaceful like he normally did. He looked close to death. Haley's breath hitched and she put a hand to her mouth, stifling the sobs she could feel rising in her throat. She practically stumbled to his bedside and reached out a hand. She was almost afraid to touch him, sure that she would find his normally warm hand stiff and cold. She let her fingers graze the outside of his wrist and sighed with relief when she felt his familiar warmth. She sank down into the chair by his bedside and let herself release everything she had been holding in since she had gotten the call. " _Your husband has experienced a severe heart attack. He should be stable but he won't wake up. We're not sure what's wrong but the outlook isn't great."_

Tears streamed down her face and her shoulders shook with the intensity of her emotions. She cried almost silently, but it still felt like her entire world was crumbling around her. The doctors didn't know exactly what was wrong, but they were certain that he had almost died. A cardiologist whose name she couldn't pronounce had told her in soft words that were meant to be consoling that Nathan might not wake up, and that she should prepare herself for the worst. She could barely breathe. The only things that were holding her together were the fact that Jamie and Lydia were safe with Brooke and Julian and Nathan was still warm, still alive.  
Haley squeezed the warm hand she was still holding. "I'm here, Nathan. I'm here." Her voice was barely a whisper. "Whatever happens, we'll face it together. Everything is going to be okay. I love you." She repeated the words he had said to her during his press conference their senior year of high school, except the part about never being happier. She couldn't bring herself to say those words because she was happier than she had ever been. She was married to an amazing man who she had never stopped loving for a second in their 15 years, she had two beautiful children and a third on the way, wonderful friends, a great business, a lovely home, and a career that didn't feel like work. Her life was blissful. She had never been happier. But now, with Nathan laying on what might be his death bed, everything in her life that was good and happy seemed to hang in the balance. Looking into the face of her husband, Haley realized that her happiness hinged on him; this one man was her everything. That might be unhealthy, but she didn't care. It was the truth. Every single day of the past 15 years had begun and ended with him. In her worst days, it was Nathan who stood by her. In her best days, it was Nathan who stood behind her. In everything they had gone through, it was Nathan who stood with her. In the days she couldn't stand on her own, it was Nathan who carried her. She wasn't Haley James, an individual, anymore. She was Haley James Scott, part of a team. And her teammate was lying in a hospital bed in front of her, in a coma.  
She let out a sob. She couldn't do this without him. She couldn't do anything without him.

She remembered when he was in the hospital after being rescued from the kidnapping by Dan and he had seen Lydia walk for what he thought was the first time. She had broken down in his arms, saying how she couldn't imagine life without him. She couldn't wake up without him next to her, she couldn't imagine how she could go on. Nathan had told her that she would never have to, and she believed him. She had taken comfort in it. But now here she was again, the possibility of a life without her husband looming on the horizon. Still, she couldn't imagine it. She couldn't imagine living her life without her best friend, her lover, her co-parent, her teammate, her protector beside her. Life just didn't make sense without him.  
Another sob tore out of her. Her breaths started coming faster, shallower. She leaned forward and let her head rest on the side of the bed, Nathan's hand still in hers.  
"Please, Nathan," she managed to gasp out. "Please, come back to me. I can't do this without you."  
As the tears flowed faster and her breath left her, she started seeing spots. She felt a kind of calm wash over her and a roaring in the back of her head. She realized she was about to pass out and welcomed the blackness. It was a respite from the pain racking her entire body.

When she came to, she heard two voices. One was the soft voice of a woman, murmuring about a panic attack. The other was a voice she could pick out of a crowd. It was a voice she had known since she was a young girl.  
"Lucas?" her voice was raspy and unsure. Her eyes fluttered open to a face she hadn't seen in more than a year.  
"Hey, gorgeous girl." He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Eyes that were tight with worry and sorrow. He brushed a few strands of her hair away from her forehead. "Long time no see."  
She let out a humorless chuckle. "I guess it takes Nathan's almost-death to get us in the same room."  
As soon as she said it, her voice caught in her throat. Lucas' smile melted away.  
She looked down. "I'm sorry," she said in a whisper.  
"Haley…"  
"No, Luke, I'm sorry. I just…" she trailed off, unsure what to say. She started playing with the ring on her left hand, the ring Nathan had given her to promise her a lifetime by his side. Her eyes filled with tears again.  
"Oh, Haley." Lucas reached out and gently lifted her chin so she would look at him. "I'm sorry I haven't been around. I… I… I don't have an excuse." He ran a hand through his hair. "I guess I took you guys for granted. I just thought you would always be here, I never thought that Nathan would d—" he stopped abruptly at the look on Haley's face. "No, Hales, I didn't mean—" He stopped again, running a hand roughly over his head. It was something both Scott brothers did when they were at a loss for words.  
"God, I don't know what I'm saying. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't—"  
His voice hitched and he looked down. His lip quivered and she knew that he was trying not to cry.  
"He's my brother, Hales… and I just, I don't know. I've been gone. I wanted to get away from Tree Hill with Peyton and Sawyer because I didn't want to get caught up in the town drama like always and miss my life, but in doing so, I've missed so much. I've missed your life, I've missed my friends' lives and their children's lives, and I've missed Nathan's life. I've missed my brother's life, and now I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance to catch up with him."  
Haley sat up at that. "No, Luke. Please don't say that." Her voice was sharp. "Don't you dare say that. He'll wake up. He'll be fine. You guys will get to catch up. You can come back to Tree Hill and become a part of our life again." Somewhere along the line she had started crying again. "You can buy a house near ours and live there with Peyton and Sawyer and Anna Elizabeth and our kids will be friends like we were and you can be Uncle Lucas to Davis and Jude and come over for dinner with me and Nathan and we will be one big happy family. It'll be great." She was full on sobbing now. "Everything is gonna be great!"  
Lucas leaned forward and hugged her to his chest. "Shh, Haley. It's gonna be okay." She collapsed into him and cried. She wasn't so silent this time. She released everything into her old friend. She held on for dear life as if somehow, this hug could fix her. But she knew it couldn't. And so she cried. She had no idea how much time had passed when her sobs started to subside and the fog of tears clouding her vision cleared. Her chest slowly stopped heaving and she calmed ever so slightly.  
"No it's not." She said, her voice small.  
Lucas pulled back to look at her. "What?"  
"It's not going to be okay."  
"Hale—"  
"Nathan is going to die, and nothing will be okay." She choked over the words.  
"No, Haley, you don't know that. He could wake up."  
"No. He is going to die." Her voice was void of emotion now. She could feel herself shutting down. She steeled herself, sighed, and looked into Lucas' blue eyes. "My husband is going to die. I'm going to be a widow. A single mother. Alone." She looked down at her hands, focusing on the tube sticking out of the back of her left hand.  
She remembered talking to Lucas about the possibility of Nathan being dead in the airport when Nathan was being held for ransom. No one else would let her talk about that possibility, but Lucas knew that she needed to. Once Nathan had come home, she had thought that she wouldn't have to think about his death for decades. But now, here she was, faced with it yet again.  
Somewhere in the back of her mind she registered that Lucas was saying something to her, but she couldn't hear him. She didn't care. She was numb. The only sound she could hear was the monotonous beep of the monitor telling her that her heart was beating. It was doing its job of pumping blood through her body. She was alive. But soon, Nathan wouldn't be. His heart wasn't doing its job anymore and so he would die. She would be alone.  
That thought overtook her. It made her feel cold. The cold seeped out from her chest towards her fingers and toes. Alone. The word reverberated through her. She felt that roaring again and ran headlong toward the blackness.

His beautiful face danced along the edges of her mind, making her smile. She could hear his laugh, see his beautiful smile, feel his hands on her skin. She saw his eyes fill with pride as he saw his son for the first time. She saw him sink his first basket as an NBA player. She saw him walk towards her after months apart with his blinding smile and beautiful self. She heard him say "Hi, Hales" and kiss her as they reunited after his rescue. She could feel him all around her. This was Heaven, she was sure of it. Nathan was her heaven. She saw his outstretched hand and reached for him, but he was too far. He began slipping away. She reached for him desperately, calling his name.  
"Nathan! Nathan!" He was gone.  
She opened her eyes to the concerned face of Lucas. "Hales, Hales, shh."  
She realized she had been calling Nathan's name out loud.  
Once she fully came to and remembered everything that was happening in reality, her heart started racing.  
Lucas put a hand on hers. "Haley, calm down. Come on, just breathe. Don't black out on me again, I need you. Jamie and Lydia need you. Nathan needs you"  
She took a deep breath. "Is he—?"  
Lucas sighed. "No, sorry. He's still in a coma. But he needs you to be strong. For Lydia, for Jamie, for that little one." He put his other hand on her rounded stomach. "Breathe, Haley. We'll get through this. But we have to get you out of this hospital bed. This can't be good for the baby."  
Haley put her hand over Luke's on her belly. She sighed. "Okay." She took a few more deep breaths. "I'll try to be strong." She gave him a small smile. "I can do this."  
"You can do this." He smiled back at her, his eyes still filled with worry and sadness. He leaned forward and kissed her cheek. "I love you, Haley James Scott. You're my sister. I'm here for you."  
"We're here for you." Peyton's voice came from the doorway.  
"Peyton." Haley breathed. "Hi."  
"Hey, friend." Peyton smiled warmly. She walked towards Haley and sat on the edge of the bed.  
"I know you're not doing well, no one could be in your position, but you are going to be okay." She put her hand on Luke's shoulder. "We're going to make sure of that, okay?"  
"Okay" Haley responded.  
Peyton leaned forward to hug her. "It's good to see you."  
"It's good to see you too."  
Peyton held her friend for a few minutes, letting her take comfort in the hug. She stroked Haley's hair. "It's gonna be okay, buddy. We'll get through it."  
Haley nodded, but she knew it was a lie. She wasn't gonna get through this. Not without Nathan.


	2. Day Forty Two

Day Forty-Two

Haley sat beside her husband's bedside, holding his hand. It had been six weeks since she got the call. She had been in the hospital every day, she but hadn't been a patient herself since the first few days. Now, she spent all of her time in the worn chair in room 437, gazing at Nathan, praying to see his stormy blue eyes look up at her. She wasn't hopeful. She knew the odds.

She had lost some weight, but not much. Peyton, Quinn, Brooke, and Deb basically force fed her at every meal. She knew she had to eat for two to keep this baby healthy, but she could barely stomach chicken broth. She had no appetite. She didn't want to eat or drink or walk around or read or do anything. She just wanted to sit with Nathan until he woke up, took her into his arms, and kissed her. That was all she wanted.

She couldn't really be trusted to take care of herself and the kids, so Peyton, Luke, Sawyer, and Anna Elizabeth had moved in with her, Jamie, and Lydia for the time being. Deb had moved back in too. Brooke and Quinn were always around too, and Julian and Clay were happy to help whenever they could. Julian liked to clean and keep the house in order and Clay kept the lawn mown and played basketball with Lucas and Jamie. Mouth, Millie, Skills, and Junk and Fergie made sure to stop in whenever they could as well. Haley was surrounded by family and friends, but she barely noticed. She should be ecstatic to have Lucas and Peyton back in town and to have her favorite people filling the house, but she couldn't even muster enough energy to care. She was completely indifferent.

She just sat by Nathan's side at the hospital until someone dragged her home to shower, eat, change, and sleep. Well, try to sleep. She couldn't sleep without Nathan's body curved behind hers, holding her, caressing her. He loved to rest his hand on her stomach and feel their child move. But now, there was nothing. She was all alone in their huge bed and she couldn't sleep. She didn't know how. Even when Quinn and Brooke had curled up with her, she had tossed and turned all night, having nightmares of living life without Nathan.

She was five months pregnant now. Her back ached, her feet were swollen, and she had to pee every five minutes. If Nathan were awake, she knew that he would insist on massaging her back and rubbing her feet every night before they went to bed. She loved how caring he was, especially when she was pregnant. He always spoiled her, but he waited on her hand and foot during those months. When she had asked him why he was so good to her, he had flashed his gorgeous smile and said "you are carrying a life inside you. A life we created. You are giving me the greatest gift I could ever ask for, and the least I could do is make sure you are safe and comfortable and loved while doing it." He had seen it as so simple, and Haley loved him all the more for it. She put a hand on her stomach, feeling the baby kick. She didn't want to know the sex of the baby because she couldn't share it with Nathan. She didn't want to know without him.

She lifted Nathan's hand and put it to her stomach. "Look baby, that's our baby. Do you feel it?"  
She moved his hand around to the new place their child was kicking. She flinched when the baby kicked particularly hard.  
"He's strong. Or she." She smiled. "Just like her dad." She laid Nathan's hand back on the bed and ran her fingers through his black hair.  
"You're so strong, Nathan. You can do this. You can come back to me." She sighed. "Come on, baby. Come back to me. You can do it." Her voice was barely a whisper. Tears slipped silently down her face. She kissed his cheek, leaving a tear on his face. She gently brushed it away.  
"Please, Nathan. I need you." She put her hand on her stomach. "We need you. Please, Nathan, come home."


	3. Day One Hundred and Six

Day One Hundred and Six

It had been three and half months. Three and a half months since she had seen her gorgeous husband's stormy blue eyes looking at her with love. Three and a half months since they had talked, eaten dinner together, made love. Three and a half months since Jamie and Lydia had gotten to hear their father's laugh. Nathan's absence had really begun to take its toll. Everyone felt it. The air in her house, though it was filled with friends and family, felt cold and heavy. Though everyone was happy to be reunited under one roof, they all knew the reason. Nathan was gone. Everything felt wrong. They had all fallen into a routine of caring for Haley and the kids, each other, the house, and trying to stay positive. It all felt so morbid, so fake. Nathan was in the hospital, dying. There didn't seem to be much reason to be happy.

At the moment, Peyton and Luke were watching their children and Jamie and Lydia in the living room of the Scott House and Haley was where she always was. In the chair that was worn to her body now, in the four walls that would be forever branded into her mind, amongst the beepings and the whirrings and the sterile sounds and smells of room 437 in New Brunswick County Hospital.

Haley laid her forehead on their joined hands, quietly sobbing. She had never felt so resigned. Her family and friends rarely ever left her alone, but right now it was just her at Nathan's beside. She was holding his left hand and stroking her fingers over his wedding ring. She had been trying to keep it together for her kids and her family, but the strong façade she had carefully constructed was failing. In moments like these, when she was alone, she could feel her heart crumbling and the numbness of her grief gripping her with steel fingers. Her husband, her beautiful, selfless, strong, protective, amazing Nathan was going to die. He was never going to come back to her. He was gone. Her shoulders slowly stilled and the sobs subsided. He was gone. The numbness that had once threatened to overcome her returned. He was gone. Their future was gone. All the days they would have spent together were just dreams now; they were just something to be longed for in the moments where her grief allowed her to think of him without breaking down. Jamie and Lydia would speak of their father in past tense. Jamie wouldn't get to tease Nathan endlessly for breaking his high school scoring record. He wouldn't get to introduce his father to his own son someday. Lydia wouldn't get to be angry at her father when he was overprotective while she was dating. She wouldn't get to have Nathan walk her down the aisle. The child Haley was carrying right now would never even know Nathan. This baby wouldn't know his kind voice, his bright eyes, his warm smile. He wouldn't know Nathan's hugs, or his dumb dad jokes, or his caring advice. This child would grow up without a father. The very thing Nathan dreaded so much.  
Haley didn't know how to manage or even describe the devastation she felt. It was wracking through her body in waves, but it was also constant. She had never known pain like this. Every nerve ending in her body was on fire with agony but she was still so numb. She felt everything but she was so distant from it. The only thing she was sure of that Nathan was going to die and there was nothing she could do to stop it.  
The sobs started again. She clutched Nathan's hand harder. She imagined she could feel him squeezing back, reassuring her. She wished that it had been real.  
She felt the squeeze again and it tore at her heart. She ached for it to be real.  
Nathan squeezed her hand again, harder this time.  
She wasn't imagining it. She looked up, incredulous.  
His stormy blue eyes were staring back at her.  
Her jaw dropped. She was afraid to speak; it might disturb her delusion and if this was a delusion she didn't want it to stop.  
He opened his mouth to speak. His throat was dry and swollen. He hadn't used his voice in months. But he looked at her, his incredible wife, with such love and admiration and gratitude, and managed to croak out a few words that conveyed his joy at their reunion. Words he had used at their previous reunion after he had been kidnapped. Words that made her cry with joy.  
"Hi, Hales."


End file.
